Trama

trama

 

I remember a conversation; probably one thousand years ago when Æthelred ruled New Saxony and I was (more) innocent.

Again the dawn was closer and she had to be in her house. I stopped a taxi and in the road she talked a bit angry, saying that probably I was with “other” That was a bit ridiculous because that was just a thing of a summer, impossible because her baby and my travels, and she herself had asked for an open relationship, barely something more than casual friends. She said, after several accusations: “bah! it’s the same to me: I don’t care.” Sadly to me conversations are like chess, so I studied the phrase and answered calmly, as a gentleman shouldn’t do, “lie: if you wouldn’t care, then you hadn’t asked…”

After that it was just the silence, she was angry to discover the truth in my words and the cabdriver hold the breath waiting for an answer from her that didn’t come. Sometimes to win we have to lose, so winning the conversation I think I lost the truth. I saw her some nights more but was like a meeting of strangers. Also I’m sure that I misinterpreted her feelings, probably she wasn’t jealous but doubtful about my worries not related to her, perhaps she thought I was bored. Of course also could be vice versa…

Today I was thinking in that memento for a young lad that suddenly finished his short friendship with a young lady. She didn’t know why and I attributed it to immaturity but secretly I suspect he was indeed jealous.

4 thoughts on “Trama

  1. immaturity and jealousy go together “well”… an adult jealous person usually has little self-esteem, he/she doesn’t trust himself/herself and has affective “gaps”…

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